I sometimes wonder if I’ll ever grow up. I mean I have a mortgage, a grown up job and a steady relationship etc but I don’t feel like a grown up.
I am always comparing myself to others and what they have done or doing or have. I know I shouldn’t but sometimes I can’t help it. I see people who have started families,  are fit and healthy, love their job and seem to have it all.

But I just don’t feel that way. I mean I change my hair all the time, I still havent found the ‘one’,  that elusive look that makes you think yes, this is me, this is what I look like.
I wonder sometimes if it’s more to do with the fact that I’m still trying to get to who I think ‘I am’

image

I still have my idea of a dream job, and this may shock you…. It isn’t working in an office for someone else.
I’d love to work in radio, own a bookshop, be a writer.
Maybe one maybe all 3, but no I work in a office in a bid to be a grown up.

I’m also at that awkward age, that mid 30’s bit where no clothing shop is aiming it’s clothes/ looks at you. To young for some stores, to old for others. Yes I know there is online shopping but I like to try thing on before paying for everything then sending it all back.

Does anyone else feel ignored by the high street?! No ok then

So here I sit at 34, 6:50 on a Thursday morning in my pyjamas,  a snoring pug on my knee working out if I can get away with just straightening my hair or if it needs washing. The whole time I’m sure the rest if the world is up, showered, cleansed,  toned, moisturised, make up on, dressed in their amazingly stylish work clothes, reading some amazingly sophisticated work of literature heading to their dream job.

Are you?